I'm baaack....

Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted on here and my whole life is so different now than it was almost five years ago.

First of, I managed to lose a bunch of weight and am down to about 152, eight pounds less than my goal weight of 160.  I look pretty good, if I do say so myself.

I also got divorced in May of this year.  Kenin and I had a lot of good years but we also had a number of not great years so we separated in April, 2017.  Please don't shed any tears...  I didn't.  I'm very happy being on my own and have been enjoying the single life.

I've been dating a lot and have decided that I don't know that I'll ever be monogamous again.  I believe in love, but not necessarily that I'll find it again.  I don't mean that in a bad way, either.  On the plus side, I've been seeing someone for almost year now and I waffle back and forth between trying to decide if it's love (or could be at some point) but as of right now, it's just whatever it is.

I was fired from Dish earlier this year, but that was definitely a blessing in disguise because I never knew how miserable I was there until I left.  The said that I was termed due to poor performance but it was awfully suspicious when they didn't even tell my manager they were firing me and waited until a day he was off to do the deed.  I felt pretty vindicated when they appealed my unemployment and they lost.  It was particularly gratifying to hear my old manager say that when I was fired that I was meeting expectations.

Ashlyn and boyfriend are now Ashlyn and husband, which is pretty awesome.  It's been almost 9 years for them and while they haven't given me a grandchild yet, I do have a granddog, which is pretty cool.  But make no mistake, I'm still holding out for a human.

Jena is in the process of getting divorced and in addition to my three amazing grandsons, she's finally giving me a GRANDDAUGHTER in December.  All I have to say is that it's about damn time.

Patrick is living in Texas with his bio mom and is doing really well from what I hear.

Hunter has his own place here in Denver and is struggling with addiction, so please send him some good thoughts, light and love, especially since we just found out some life changing news.

Now that I'm back into this, I imagine it's going to go more in the direction of kind of a diary, so folks, it's no holds barred.  I didn't really hold back before, but now I'm REALLY not going to hold back.

get your own

Hunter, proudly displaying his new Michigan State t-shirt he received from his grandfather:  Isn't it awesome?  I love it!  Thank you, Pawpaw!

Kenin:  Hey, Hunter, that IS an awesome shirt.  Are you going to let me wear it?

Hunter:  No.  Get your OWN grandpa!

do I suck or what?

Yes, yes, yes, I know it's been forever since I've updated, and I know you 3 homeless guys who hang at the library are pretty mad, but, hey, I'm lazy. You ought to know that by now; it's not like it's a big secret or anything.

Ah, but look what I've been up to...

Me and Patrick

Kenin and Waverly

Hunter (aka Uncle Peanut) and Paul

Kenin, Hunter and Paul

Waverly and Paul

Patrick, Paul and Kenin

Paul and Jena

Jena and Paul

Paul (Isn't he cute? He gets it from me. LOL)

Jena, Paul and Hunter

Sean

from the peanut gallery...

Kenin: Yeah, I stopped by the grocery store today and got some chicken gizzards for lunch.

Hunter: Uh, Dad? Um, isn't that chicken groin?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What's the scariest thing I've heard lately?

After seeing the trailer for the upcoming Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus movie, the following words were uttered by my dear husband (who I'm positive was at the time possessed by no less than Lucifer himself):

"That movie looks pretty cute."

a boy and his dad

a day at Chatfield State Park

Bella and her Frisbee

Proof Bella can swim when she wants to

Coming out of the drink

In mid-shake, but still in the water

A boy and his dog

Hunter

My mother's smile

Evening view from our deck

pals

Hunter and his friend, Jacob, plaing video games.

say what?

On the way to Waffle House this morning:

Hunter: I'm so hungry I could drink a whole cow.

I'll stay right where I am, thanks

The other night Hunter and I were talking about the differences between co-workers and bosses.

Me: So, Ms. Special Ed Teacher is technically my supervisor, but she's also my co-worker because we work very closely. I'm not on the same level as Mr. Vice Principal or Mrs. Principal.

Hunter: No, you're not. First you'd have to be a real teacher. Then you've have to get your Master's Degree. And then, you'd have to get a degree in politics if you wanted to be a principal.

If he only knew how true that really is...

are you pimped out?

Kenin: Hey Hunter, do you see what I'm wearing? My new carpenter jeans?

Hunter: Cool! Now my dad's all pimped out!

(I'm not real sure Hunter has discovered this yet, but he's actually a white boy who lives in the 'burbs.)

feels like the first time

A couple of days ago, Hunter went to the doctor to get a shot so he could begin 6th grade without the fear of getting tetanus, diptheria, or pertussis. I'm fairly certain he wasn't particularly concerned to begin with, but you know how the schools are.

Since I have Kaiser Permanente (a really good HMO if truth be told), they suggested that Hunter have a physical and I figured that if I'm going to pay $25 just for a shot, then I might as well get a complete physical for the same amount.

Everything was going great, Dr. V was doing the exam, and then all of the sudden she pops out with, "We need to do the genital exam." I don't think Hunter caught that at first (I was only listening with half an ear myself), but you could see his dismay as she mentioned he had to pull down his pants. OMG, his mortification was priceless! He was totally freaked out that someone wanted to see him with his pants down. He moved toward me like he wanted to hide behind me - and, in fact, really did try to do so - and I swear I tried not to, but I burst out laughing. Never in my life have I seen such a look of horror and embarassment come together in such a perfect way! If it weren't so damn funny, I'd almost feel bad for him, the poor kid.

damn men

Hunter: Hey, Dad?

Kenin: Yeah?

Hunter: I have a huge fear of PMSing women.

Betsy: You ought to, 'cause I'm gonna beat your butt.

water, water, and more water

I went rafting with my brothers, Jim and Tom, and my rugrat, Hunter, on Wednesday. Guess who that is waving to everyone?

Boys Will Be Boys

Yesterday was yet another rugby game for Hunter. We all tagged along - even Ashlyn, who normally doesn't roll over until noon. After a yummy breakfast at the Awful Waffle, we hit the road in pursuit of our goal, Sloan's Lake Park in Denver.

Naturally, we arrived way too early (thanks, Dad, for instilling in me that I have to be at least 30 minutes earlier than everyone else) and decided to take a walk around the lake. Hunter was enthralled by the geese that were there; the rest of us were just trying not to step in their poop. Denver being the disgustingly outdoorsy city that it is, created a walkway around the lake so that the various enthusiasts of the outdoor variety could, walk, bike, run, and step in goose poo.

Unfortunately it also allowed the couple walking past us to shudder with not-so-quiet laughter as Hunter yelled excitedly at the top of his voice, "Hey Mom! Look at this! The ducks had diarrhea!"

I'm glad they thought it was funny, because all I wanted to do was quietly drown.

Just the Highlights

Hunter: Hey Mom, I like your hair. It highlights your mustache.

( I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.)

Drunk With Power

Since yesterday was Take Your Child To Work Day, I took my child to work. It wasn't a huge change for Hunter, especially since I work at his school, but I think it turned out okay.

The morning was spent working with my kiddos, which was a wee bit less exciting than Hunter thought it would be, so when his class went out for recess, I shooed him out the door as well. But then came lunch time for the first graders...

During this time, my actual 'duty' is to keep an eye on Gap Baby (so named because if it doesn't come from The Gap, then it doesn't get worn) and to make sure that he stays seated, eats, etc., but he's a great little kid and doesn't need much more than just being aware of him and what he's doing. Naturally, this leaves me available to help out or be attacked by the other first graders who don't yet have the common sense to realize that it's easier to eat mac and cheese with a spork (spoon + fork = spork) than with your fingers, or who've made it their goal for the year to talk so loudly that I become permanently deaf. And this is where Hunter stepped in...

While giving the kids yet another lecture/verbal beating about the fact that they're just too damn loud(!), Hunter popped in with his 2 cents, so I had no choice but to introduce him to them. I don't know if it was because he was a 'big' kid or what, but they were enthralled by him. He took over (much like his mother has been known to do) and became a man on a mission. If there was a hand up, he made a bee line to it. If they had to potty, he gave them permission. If they wanted ketchup for their salad, he made sure they had it. He was absolutely drunk with the power that he had over these kids. And I think it's quite possible that he found his calling in supervising lunch for first graders.

My Superstar Cat

A couple of weeks ago, Hunter decided to give our felines more human-like names.

Poor, little Napoleon became Napoleon Bartholomew Huffstetler. All I can say about that name is, thank goodness he doesn't actually have to learn to spell it. On the flip side, our three-legged wondercat, Angelo, is now known as Angelo Jolie.

Isn't my kid amazing?

Saturday Night Dinner Theatre

The Setting: Red Lobster, during their Endless Shrimp promotion (irrelevant, but yummy)

The Actors: Hunter, as the Narrator; Kenin, Patrick, and me, as the Audience

The Props: A small, black plastic skeleton and a small neon green spider, given to Hunter by a waiter who is very nice to young boys in an almost-but-not-quite-full-blown creepy kind of way, and the small, red, lobster-topped, sword-shaped fruity drink holder thing that came in Hunter's Shirley Temple

Hunter: Aaarrgghh! The spider bit me on the hip (holds spider to skeleton's hip)! Here, let me thrust the sword into the spider (thrusts sword into the spider (duh))! Aw, crap! I hit my hip! Oh, my hip, my hip! Now I can't walk (makes dying sounds, much to the dismay of Kenin, who's apparently taken Hunter's playing just a little bit too seriously)! Aaarrrggghh!

The Audience (okay, it was only me): Hysterical laughter

What a week it's been!

Yes, I know I haven't posted. And to be honest, I'm sure that bothers me way more than it bothers the 2 other people who read this blog. I swear I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. But I kind of want to.

The last two weeks have been, well, a bit rough. I won't go through what happened last week except to say that I was very tired, what with having an actual job again. That first week is a killer. It's not like I was sleeping in over the summer or anything, unless you count 7 am as 'sleeping in'. But my gawd, it was those damn kids at work! I'd forgotten how exhausting chasing around a group of developmentally disabled can be. Ugh. I'm a bit more acclimated to it now, but I'm really glad that week is over, not that this week has been much better.

So, this week, Monday night to be exact, I drag Ash, Hunter, and Patrick to David's Bridal to have her dress for Jena's wedding altered. The seamstress - do people still use that word? - shortened the straps, pinned the booby cup things in, and began looking at the waistline of the dress with a funny look. Just for the sake of argument, we'll call it a skeptical look. Now, a skeptical look coming from a seamstress as she looks at an already-paid-for-all-sales-are-final-and-don't-you-even-think-about-asking-for-a-refund dress just scares me. I walk over to them just in time to hear her tell Ashy that 'we can't fix that'. Surely I misunderstood her. Totally channelling a very irate black woman from New York City at that moment, I tried to be calm as she tells me that because of the way the fabric is cut (on the bias, as if that means anything at all to me), if they try to correct the fact that seam isn't straight or flat, it will only make it worse. I guess she saw the look on my face because at that point, she hurried off to find her boss. Bosslady comes and after an equally skeptical look at the dress, she informs me that that is, in fact, the case. You could say that it was at that point that I was about this close to being livid. After calmly explaining that we'd been told by the idiot (No, I didn't really use that word. But I wanted to.) sales person that their alterations department could 'fix anything, anything at all', it was suggested to me that I might want to speak with the manager, who might be able to arrange a little somethin' somethin' to correct the situation. Long story short (okay, not really short, but at least shortER), we ended up being able to ORDER A DIFFERENT DRESS. I know they're going to try to stick it to me with a rush alteration fee, but I'd be surprised if they manage to succeed. At any rate, with a little luck, we should have a new dress by September 1st, which leaves just over 2 weeks to have it altered.

Short and sweet: Tuesday night, we had to go pick up Hunter's violin (not an instrument I'm excited about, or ever expected him to want to play), so, once again, I drug Ash and Patrick along, too. It was a huge cattle call thing, and it sucked, to say the least. My salesperson was not only incompetent, but an idiot as well, and not only could he not fill out the rental application, I doubt he could find his own butt without considerable help. Wednesday night I attended orientation at Arapahoe Community College, without, thankfully, children in tow. It once again made for a long day, but was at least interesting and without incident. Well, the lights went out because of a storm, but after the week I've had, that doesn't count.

School Begins

So today we started back to school. We being Hunter and I, he as a 5th grader and me as a 2nd year Severe Special Needs Paraprofessional. I was a little worried that he wasn't going to like his teacher because he'd been telling me all summer how a friend of his had gotten in trouble by her for running in the hall last year. That was no biggie to me because I spent half my time last year telling kids to QUIT RUNNING! in the halls. But Hunter doesn't think like an adult and after he nearly went ballistic on his teacher last year, I had understandable cause for concern. It turned out that he does like her and according to him, "she's strict, but in a good way." Now if we can just keep that sentiment beyond the first week of school...

Most of 'my' kids showed up today, except for one that's out of town for the next month and a new kindie that doesn't begin school until Wednesday. The kids were good, which was surprising, as our schedule for them was screwy being that it was just the first day. We tried to have them in class as much as possible today so they could get used to their new surroundings, and I think that was a good idea. One incident of note... I was told by Harry Potter (who last year wanted to marry me) that now he wants to marry Alice in Wonderland. I suppose it's for the best being that A) I'm already married, B) he's 29 years my junior (it may work in some circles, but not mine), and C) I don't think he can support me in the manner I wish to become accustomed to on just an SSI check every month. Oh well, he's still a cool kid.