Wednesday, March 20, 2013


I don't care how many Playboy decals you put on your minivan, it will not make you cool.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

customer service, or the lack thereof

I'm a big believer in good customer service.  Wait.  Big really doesn't even begin to cover it.  Huge?  Well, that one might work.  I expect good service, and so should you. 

I never really thought too much about it, but then I began to work in customer service.  The company I work for may not have a sterling reputation among it's workers (let's face it, sometimes they ask a lot of you), but I'm very proud to say that I am part of the reason that the Better Business Bureau ranks my (yes, I know I don't own it) company as having an A- customer satisfaction rating.  That's REALLY good, especially when you consider our main competitor is ranked as having a D- rating. 

I work very hard to make sure that every customer I speak with has a good experience.  And I'm good at it, too;  out of my last 9 QA's, all but 1 of them was scored as a 100, so I know what I'm talking about.  Now, to most people, having a good experience is equal to getting what you want.  Unfortunately, that's not always a reasonable expectation.  There have been many times when I've offered to assist a customer but what they want is just not reasonable for me to provide.  For example, I won't waive your early termination fee 9 months into your 2 year contract just because all of the sudden you don't like the equipment that we provide.  I'm more than happy to work with you to get you different equipment that may work better for you, but if you've let 9 months go by without saying anything, clearly it has not been a big deal.  Just as I strive to give the best service I can, so should everyone else who comes in contact with the public.  You should give me good customer service, just as I would give good service to you if you were to call the company I work for. 

I don't go and do much and am happiest as a homebody, but I do enjoy going out to eat.  This past Saturday morning, my son and I went to IHOP for breakfast.  We have a waitress, Christie, that we love to have serve us - and ask for by name - because she does an excellent job.  She gets our order correct, proactively offers ketchup, hot sauce, hot syrup, etc., and knows when we need a refill without hovering.  She is very AWARE of us as customers.  But, unfortunately, she was ill and not at work on Saturday.  (sigh)  As soon as I discovered that, I should have turned around and left.  But I didn't and we got a waiter by the name of Johnny.

Poor Johnny was not a good waiter.  He was quick enough to come take our order, but had to be asked to bring us our drinks.  That wouldn't have been too bad, but he spent about 5 minutes chatting up one of the waitresses before doing it.  Then, less than 5 minutes after he took our order (but before he brought the drinks), he brought us food that belonged to a different table.  When I told him it wasn't ours, I got told, "I know that!" in a snooty way.  I'm a bit anal about my food, so when I ordered, I made sure to ask for sour cream.  When we got our food, I did not have sour cream and I didn't have the salsa that was supposed to come with the meal.  I had to ask 3 times before I got it.  In addition, we were never offered refills on our drinks.

So, just a little background on how I am...  One of my very first jobs was working as a waitress at Waffle House, a fixture on just about every interstate off ramp in the south.  I worked 3rd shift and dealt with some serious drunks.  But I tried to do a good job under sometimes less than wonderful circumstances.  The point is, I know what it's like to work for tips, and it's not easy, so I will tip you a minimum of 20% if you just do a decent job.  And if you do a really outstanding job, I've been known to tip much more.  I believe in paying for good service and am more than happy to do it.  I want the person who has done a good job for me to know that I appreciate them.  Johnny only got a 15 per cent tip.

Of course, I'll go back to IHOP and have Christie as my waitress and IHOP won't lose me as a customer, but if it were to happen again, I doubt I'd be as forgiving.  Customer service is important.  If you deal with the public, please treat them as you would like to be treated.  That can make all the difference in how you and your company are perceived.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

i THOUGHT i lived in America...

but, apparently not.  I made my weekly trek to Walmart today and somewhere after women's clothing and before dog food, I passed through the baby department.  I have quite an awesome little nephew so I took a peek at what they had to offer.  Life was good, and then, all of the sudden, it was not. 

Walmart had onesies with what I will assume were cute sayings on them that were WRITTEN IN SPANISH.  I'm not 100 per cent sure what those sayings were because I DONT SPEAK OR READ SPANISH.  And why should I?  The last time I looked, I didn't live in MEXICO.

Now before you go get your undies in a wad, understand this...  I am all about immigration.  My dad's family came here from Ireland and my mom's was from England.  Ninety-nine per cent of us came here from somewhere else.  I have no issue with immigrants.  I do, however, prefer you to be legal, regardless of which country you started out in.

But my real bitch about all this is that if you live in a country that is not your "original" one, for crying out loud, LEARN THE LANGUAGE.  If I go to Mexico, I expect that you will have stuff written in Spanish, not English.  But I am in America, and I expect stuff to be written in English.  My sister-in-law is from Uzbekistan.  She speaks Uzbek, Russian, Turkish, English and a bit of Farsi.  She is, to say the very least, PREPARED to speak another language should she decide to visit any number of countries.  If you don't speak English, you should follow her lead.

Friday, March 15, 2013

the Chinese scare me

According to this CNN article, in China there are 6,000 dead pigs in the river that runs through Shanghai.  But the Chinese authorities say "the water is fine."   Whut????????  I don't care what they say. I'd dehydrate on purpose rather than drink dead pig water.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

do not drink while reading this

I beg of you, if you are drinking something while checking out the link posted below, STOP.  I promise, if you happen to be enjoying a beverage, it will shoot out through your nose when you burst out laughing.  And that hurts.  I know.  I've done it.


Wednesday, March 13, 2013

if only i could...

I'd like to do this to my 16 year old son, a good 75% of the people I have to speak with on the phone at work, and 2 agents I am currently supervising and training. 

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

what i think is...

Weathermen need to be QA'd.  I bet they'd get that forecast correct if their job depended on it.

Monday, March 11, 2013

just how far will i go to be healthy?

I've quit smoking (again).  Today makes 1 month.  Thirty whole days, as of noon today, since I had a cigarette.  It hasn't been too awful hard, but that's because of a wonder drug called Wellbutrin.  I've had great success with it when I quit before (now, how horrible does that sound?  "I had success quitting smoking in the past."  OMG, obviously it wasn't a permanent thing or else I wouldn't have had to quit AGAIN.) and it's working good for me now, too.  I quit because I was getting that hacking smoker's cough, which was unpleasant.  And it's not like I didn't know that it's bad for me.  After all, I've been hearing from my father for the last 25 years about how bad it was.  Well, Pops, you can quit bitching now.

The other thing that's going on now is that Kenin got turned onto vitamins by Andrew Lessman by a co-worker.  He only sells them on the Home Shopping Network and if you've got a problem or even might have a problem in the future, he's got a fix for it.  Kenin was taking the bone and joint ones and his friend suggested that I might benefit from the women's health vitamins.  Well, let me tell you what, it didn't take a whole lot of convincing on the part of the friend, because Kenin's already absolutely positive that my hormones are just raging out of control, like the blood thirsty newborn vampires in one of those Twilight movies.  According to him, there are certain times when I no longer even have bats residing in my belfry because there's just too much crazy up in there for them to have room to fly.  Apparently they've gone and done what any reasonable bat would do - they got they hell out of Dodge.  So to appease my husband, I started taking them.  Five damn horse pills at a time, I take those stupid vitamins.  I've been taking them for over a month and the only thing I've noticed is that they turn my pee Chernobyl yellow.  It GLOWS, it's so yellow.  I don't think they're doing anything for me, but if it makes my husband feel better, I'll take 'em.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

where did all the fun go?

Blogger gives me the ability to see how many people are reading this and I've noticed that the 3 homeless people that USED to read this blog, no longer do.  Basically, this means no one is reading this, so I suppose at this point, I'm just writing it for myself.  I'm actually kind of okay with that.  I mean, I'm pretty selfish so as long as I'm okay with it, that's really all that matters, right?  But it does make me wonder, why isn't the blog as popular as it once was?

The rational person in me knows that most likely, it's because I went 2 years without posting anything.  I've walked away from people for much less, so I certainly can't blame anyone who did that to the blog.  But I also wonder if it's just because I'm not as fun (or funny) as I used to be.  Personally, I think my early posts are pretty cool.  Let's face it, life just hasn't been as much fun as it used to be.  Three quarters of my kids have moved out of the house and the one that's left behind has me just over halfway to the mental ward.  Hubby's had way more health issues than should be allowed by law and I have (gasp!) a real, full-time-with-no-summers-and-two-weeks-at-Christmas-off job.  So life is just way more work now than it used to be.  Yeah, the really good stuff was back when I started blogging. 

I've gotta do something to change this.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

it's about time...

I get so sick of seeing people try to walk in high heels when they can barely stand up in them.  If you can't walk in them, for crying out loud, puhleez stop wearing them.  Kudos to InStyle magazine for putting a guide out for these folks!

How to Walk in High Heels