OMG redux

So, this is kind of a follow up from my last post...

About 26 days ago, I bought some meds for Kenin that were $633, and today I spent $412 for 5 days worth of meds.  What the hell, people?  As stunned as I was before, I'm even more so now.  This will not even cover him until his appointment next Tuesday.  I can't believe the cost of trying to stay alive. 

It must not be enough that I have to pay on 23 different doctor or hospital bills every month.  And please note that I said pay "on", not pay off.  I have what I consider to be decent (not great) insurance and still have tens of thousands of dollars in medical debt.  It only took us 2 months to the day to hit our deductible.  Two months!  Now I have just over $3000 until we hit our out of pocket maximum for the year.  That may not sound like much to some of you, but that's an ass of money to me.  That's almost 3 months rent.  That's 8 months of car payments.  That's about 5 months worth of groceries.  That's an ass of money, any way you look at it. 

Please understand, I'm not asking for a handout, or a hand up or anything at all.  I just want to know why it's so freaking expensive to be sick in America.  We make too much money for any kind of assistance, and I'm happy to say that I have a job and insurance, but it's almost not worth it.  Well, actually, it isn't worth it.  The 23 medical bills that I pay every month?  I can't even pay enough on them to keep us out of collections.  According to this CNN article from 2009 (and you know it's a WHOLE lot worse now),

Bankruptcies due to medical bills increased by nearly 50 percent in a six-year period, from 46 percent in 2001 to 62 percent in 2007, and most of those who filed for bankruptcy were middle-class, well-educated homeowners, according to a report that will be published in the August (2009) issue of The American Journal of Medicine.

Overall, three-quarters of the people with a medically-related bankruptcy had health insurance, they say.

"That was actually the predominant problem in patients in our study -- 78 percent of them had health insurance, but many of them were bankrupted anyway because there were gaps in their coverage like co-payments and deductibles and uncovered services," says Woolhandler. "Other people had private insurance but got so sick that they lost their job and lost their insurance."

There is obviously something broken within our healthcare system.  I don't know how to fix it and the folks that might have some good ideas can't agree on anything. 

You know, when I was younger and I had to go to the doctor or even when I had my kids, I had to pay very little, if anything at all.  I think I paid $100 each to have my kids.  The first time I really had to pay any real medical bills at all, it was 6 or 7 years ago and we had a Kaiser Permanente HMO plan.  But I was okay with it.  The co-pays were $25 and then $10 or so for meds.  It was definitely affordable and I'd love to have that now.  But my employer has Cigna and we have a $2400 deductible and an out of pocket maximum of $5500 before they will pay 100%.  And thank goodness they do, or else I'd be well over a hundred thousand dollars in debt versus tens of thousands.  Thinking of it in those terms almost makes it seem bearable.  Almost.

OMG

The other day, we had to purchase some medicine for Kenin.  It's an injectable medicine that he needs to - literally - help him stay alive.  It's called Fragmin and is necessary for keeping Kenin's blood thin enough to break up the blood clot he got (and still has) in his leg after hip replacement surgery last July.  After he had surgery, it cost $200 for 2 tiny little vials.  The other day when we bought it, the cost was $633 (after the insurance knocked off $80) for a single vial.  OMG.  What the hell? 

Yes, we have insurance, and now, we're over halfway to the deductible.  But, OMG....  $633 for a drug that could save your life.  It's a small price to play when you think of it in those terms, but OMG....  $633.  I did not imagine we'd have to pay that much.  I freaked out over the $200 but that was nothing compared to this.  That's half my rent.  That's more than both my car payments each month.  That's pretty much my food budget for the month.  $633 is a lot of money. 

Like I said, it's worth it, but come on, that's just the drug makers getting rich.  The folks who have the hardest time working - and often are not able to work - are the ones that have to pay for expensive drugs like this.  This is just ridiculous.

customer service, or the lack thereof

I'm a big believer in good customer service.  Wait.  Big really doesn't even begin to cover it.  Huge?  Well, that one might work.  I expect good service, and so should you. 

I never really thought too much about it, but then I began to work in customer service.  The company I work for may not have a sterling reputation among it's workers (let's face it, sometimes they ask a lot of you), but I'm very proud to say that I am part of the reason that the Better Business Bureau ranks my (yes, I know I don't own it) company as having an A- customer satisfaction rating.  That's REALLY good, especially when you consider our main competitor is ranked as having a D- rating. 

I work very hard to make sure that every customer I speak with has a good experience.  And I'm good at it, too;  out of my last 9 QA's, all but 1 of them was scored as a 100, so I know what I'm talking about.  Now, to most people, having a good experience is equal to getting what you want.  Unfortunately, that's not always a reasonable expectation.  There have been many times when I've offered to assist a customer but what they want is just not reasonable for me to provide.  For example, I won't waive your early termination fee 9 months into your 2 year contract just because all of the sudden you don't like the equipment that we provide.  I'm more than happy to work with you to get you different equipment that may work better for you, but if you've let 9 months go by without saying anything, clearly it has not been a big deal.  Just as I strive to give the best service I can, so should everyone else who comes in contact with the public.  You should give me good customer service, just as I would give good service to you if you were to call the company I work for. 

I don't go and do much and am happiest as a homebody, but I do enjoy going out to eat.  This past Saturday morning, my son and I went to IHOP for breakfast.  We have a waitress, Christie, that we love to have serve us - and ask for by name - because she does an excellent job.  She gets our order correct, proactively offers ketchup, hot sauce, hot syrup, etc., and knows when we need a refill without hovering.  She is very AWARE of us as customers.  But, unfortunately, she was ill and not at work on Saturday.  (sigh)  As soon as I discovered that, I should have turned around and left.  But I didn't and we got a waiter by the name of Johnny.

Poor Johnny was not a good waiter.  He was quick enough to come take our order, but had to be asked to bring us our drinks.  That wouldn't have been too bad, but he spent about 5 minutes chatting up one of the waitresses before doing it.  Then, less than 5 minutes after he took our order (but before he brought the drinks), he brought us food that belonged to a different table.  When I told him it wasn't ours, I got told, "I know that!" in a snooty way.  I'm a bit anal about my food, so when I ordered, I made sure to ask for sour cream.  When we got our food, I did not have sour cream and I didn't have the salsa that was supposed to come with the meal.  I had to ask 3 times before I got it.  In addition, we were never offered refills on our drinks.

So, just a little background on how I am...  One of my very first jobs was working as a waitress at Waffle House, a fixture on just about every interstate off ramp in the south.  I worked 3rd shift and dealt with some serious drunks.  But I tried to do a good job under sometimes less than wonderful circumstances.  The point is, I know what it's like to work for tips, and it's not easy, so I will tip you a minimum of 20% if you just do a decent job.  And if you do a really outstanding job, I've been known to tip much more.  I believe in paying for good service and am more than happy to do it.  I want the person who has done a good job for me to know that I appreciate them.  Johnny only got a 15 per cent tip.

Of course, I'll go back to IHOP and have Christie as my waitress and IHOP won't lose me as a customer, but if it were to happen again, I doubt I'd be as forgiving.  Customer service is important.  If you deal with the public, please treat them as you would like to be treated.  That can make all the difference in how you and your company are perceived.

i THOUGHT i lived in America...

but, apparently not.  I made my weekly trek to Walmart today and somewhere after women's clothing and before dog food, I passed through the baby department.  I have quite an awesome little nephew so I took a peek at what they had to offer.  Life was good, and then, all of the sudden, it was not. 

Walmart had onesies with what I will assume were cute sayings on them that were WRITTEN IN SPANISH.  I'm not 100 per cent sure what those sayings were because I DONT SPEAK OR READ SPANISH.  And why should I?  The last time I looked, I didn't live in MEXICO.

Now before you go get your undies in a wad, understand this...  I am all about immigration.  My dad's family came here from Ireland and my mom's was from England.  Ninety-nine per cent of us came here from somewhere else.  I have no issue with immigrants.  I do, however, prefer you to be legal, regardless of which country you started out in.

But my real bitch about all this is that if you live in a country that is not your "original" one, for crying out loud, LEARN THE LANGUAGE.  If I go to Mexico, I expect that you will have stuff written in Spanish, not English.  But I am in America, and I expect stuff to be written in English.  My sister-in-law is from Uzbekistan.  She speaks Uzbek, Russian, Turkish, English and a bit of Farsi.  She is, to say the very least, PREPARED to speak another language should she decide to visit any number of countries.  If you don't speak English, you should follow her lead.

it's about time...

I get so sick of seeing people try to walk in high heels when they can barely stand up in them.  If you can't walk in them, for crying out loud, puhleez stop wearing them.  Kudos to InStyle magazine for putting a guide out for these folks!

How to Walk in High Heels

someone please tell me

Why is it that I've clicked on the 'next blog' link in the upper left corner of the page more than 10 times (no inflated number here, yessireebob) and not a single one has been in English?*  I mean, seriously?  Yes, I know that the internet is the epitome of global, but aren't there a good many of us who speak English?  Shouldn't we be represented a little better than by a 1 in 10 ratio?

*Try it and let me know what numbers you come up with!

Mormons confuzzle me...

Not much can make me speechless. I can carry on a conversation with a tree stump and am not nearly as hesitant as I should be when it comes to sharing my opinion. But there are some things that I just can't fathom, and the things that I saw when I visited a Mormon church service yesterday is a prime example.

Since when is it okay to do paperwork or play with your cell phone in the middle of a church service? What happened to people taking their disruptive children out of the sanctuary during worship? Why do people, particularly adults, think it's okay to talk during the service? Why is it okay to knit a hat during Sunday school? And where was I when it became acceptable for adults - or anyone for that matter - to carry on a texting conversation in church?

Now I know that the older I get the more I become like my father, which isn't necessarily a good thing. I know that I'm judgemental but I really don't think I'm out of line in wondering what these people were thinking.

I grew up going to church. I've been to the Church of Christ, Catholic churches, Baptist churches, Lutheran churches and non-denominational churches and in all my experiences I've never seen this kind of disrespect toward God. While there are aspects that I like about the Mormon church (not so much the whole prophet business) this has really turned me off from learning more about them.

Let's Say Thanks

Although it's after Thanksgiving, please take a minute or two out of your day to visit Let's Say Thanks.  It's a website sponsored by Xerox that sends cards to American troops overseas to let them know how much they are appreciated.  Most of us cannot imagine the difficulties of being away from our family and in harm's way as they are, so let's let them know that we appreciate all they do to help make the world a safer place.

naked vs. nekkid

It's come to my attention that there are actually some folks out there that didn't know there is a difference between "naked" and "nekkid". For those of you who are unsure what that difference - beside the spelling - might be, let me step up to the podium and explain.

The main variable in the "naked" and "nekkid" battle is intent. "Naked" is something you are with your spouse, partner or lover, but "nekkid" is what you were when you hooked up with that guy from the club (What was his name anyway? LOL). "Naked" is respectable, like Botticeli's Venus, or a baby in the tub. "Nekkid" is a little different in that it often involves a password and monthly subscription.

It doesn't matter to me one whit if you're naked or nekkid, but now you know the difference.

no mo', no mo', no mo'

You know, I don't really mind getting older. I mean, the last time I got upset over having a birthday was when I turned 17 and realized I'd wasted a fair amount of my teenage years being a bonehead. Turning 30 didn't bother me and 40 isn't appearing as a great looming horror in my mind's eye. I still feel in my mind like I'm in my 20's, and have even been known on occasion to act like it. So like I said, getting older isn't bothering me one bit. But I've gotta tell you, I'm pretty damn unhappy about what this aging crap is doing to my body.

Having gray hair doesn't bother me. God knows I've earned each and every one of them, so in my eyes, it's kind of a badge of honor. However, I've got the ugliest, most mousy brown hair though, so I dye it. I swear it's not about the grays - ask anyone who's known me, I've been dying my hair since I was 20. What's aggravating me is that my once super thick hair is getting thinner and that's pissing me off. It used to be so, well, thick. And now it just hangs there, limp and lifeless. This is not okay. Just because my grandmother wore a wig to cover her 4 hairs doesn't mean I want to.

My hormones are more whacked out now than I ever was, even during my incarnations of crazy. I'm not talking about emotional hormones, either. I mean, I feel like I'm going through adolescence all over again (except this didn't happen before!) and it was not the most pleasant experience the first time around, let me tell you. My skin is doing strange things, like I break out on my chest, and I have extreme itches on my neck, which (naturally) happen in the middle of the night and I wake up with red welts on my neck from where I've scratched myself too much. And I don't sleep - at least not for more than 4 hours - without the aid of good pharmaceuticals.

Basically, this getting older crap just isn't working for me, so I'm officially declaring that I refuse to age even one more single, teeny, tiny bit. I'm done, finished, over it, not doing it anymore. But just in case push comes to shove and I loose it and beat someone to death with a shoe or something, I plan on using hormones as my defense. And you just know that unless that jury's comprised solely of men, I'm getting off scott free.

two things

Two A few things I learned while working at an elementary school:

1. Some children really need drugs in order to concentrate and not be a disruption to other students. Federal law prohibits us from telling you that, but it doesn't mean it isn't true.
2. Chances are, your child isn't gifted.
3. If your child says the teacher is mean, it usually means that the teacher makes him/her follow the rules.
4. We are helping to form the future of America and should be paid accordingly.
5. Some people should have to pass a test in order to be parents.
6. Just because it's okay for your child to lock him/herself in the bathroom at home, choke someone, or be disrespectful to adults, it doesn't mean it's okay at school. And if he/she does this behavior, don't get pissed off at me because I tell you it happens.

socio-political commentary

I have absolutely no sympathy for Sean "Diddy" Combs, or anyone else who makes the following complaint:

"I'm actually flying commercial," Diddy said before walking onto an airplane, sitting in a first-class seat and flashing his boarding pass to the camera. "That's how high gas prices are. I'm at the gate right now. This is really happening, proof gas prices are too high. Tell whoever the next president is we need to bring gas prices down."

The poor little rich man can no longer afford to fly his private jet across country because now it costs more than $200K to do so. Boo-Freaking-Hoo. When he has to choose between eating and paying bills or getting medical care, then he will be allowed to complain. Until then, he can kiss my empty wallet.

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Another sign of the times? It turns out that Bristol, the 17 year old daughter of Sarah Palin (McCain's choice for Vice President), is 5 months preggers. Years ago, Palin wouldn't have even been considered for Veep with an underage, pregnant, unmarried daughter, but I guess McCain's so desperate, he'll choose just about anyone. Or maybe he's going for the sympathy vote, though I hope America's too smart to fall for that. Teen pregnancy aside, I'd be really hard pressed to vote this ticket simply based on the fact that I've never heard of this woman.

'but I'm too fat to die'

This guy raped and murdered two women in 1986 and was sentenced to be executed, but according to him, he's too fat and may suffer because
"executioners would have trouble finding his veins and that his weight could diminish the effectiveness of one of the lethal injection drugs." Well whoop de freakin' do. Who cares? I say the hell with lethal injection; bring back the electric chair and fry his lousy ass.

I'm sorry, (actually I'm not) but what makes it okay for him to not suffer when he raped and killed those women? Wasn' that pretty much the whole point of what he did to them? He's already spent more than 20 years on death row at the taxpayers expense; the people of Ohio have been clothing and feeding (and therein lies the whole problem as far as I'm concerned) this piece of crap, and now they might not get their payback at the end? Well that's just crap.

As it turns out, I have a solution to the whole situation, and it consists of just one word: DIET. Think about it, if you put him on Weight Watchers (because gawd forbid he loses weight in an unsafe manner - we wouldn't want him to suffer or anything), let him have all of about 25 points worth of food per day and make him do some cardio or something, I'd just about guaran-damn-tee that he'd be a whole lot skinnier come October 14, his scheduled execution date.

a quick complaint

I'm taking college courses online and a fair amount of our coursework involves participating in message board discussions. I'm constantly amazed at the number of people who are unable to compose a sentence. All it takes to make sure you sound like a reasonably intelligent person is a little proofreading. Proofread, people, proofread!

I know the things I write on here are more often than not done correctly, but that's done on purpose (usually - LOL). In writing for school, I'm extremely careful to write so that I don't come across as a complete idiot - I reserve that for you, dear Internet.

Something Truly Disturbing

Every great now and then, I stumble upon something so strange, so abnormal, so just plain screwed up, that I'm rendered practically speechless. It doesn't happen often, but there are occasions that I wonder if I - and all other fairly reasonable people - haven't been sucked into a black hole and have simply ceased to exist. And tonight was one of those occasions.

Pet (aka Ashlyn, the skinny mini size 2 that actually tries to gain weight) and I, at the tail end of the great search for Lean Cuisines and Weight Watchers frozen foods, ambled through our neighborhood grocery store toward the cash registers and made the mistake of doing so by way of the SEASONAL AISLE. I managed to avoid the perils of half price leftover Easter candy, - no small feat, let me tell you - but it was only because what I saw so disturbed me that even my unnatural fondness for sugar was forgotten.

I saw an Easter basket with a toy chainsaw in it! Now what damn idiot thought that up? What kind of fool puts a chainsaw, even a toy one, in an Easter Basket? Is it any wonder kids in America are so screwed up? That kids go around killing people? Don't you think that this is the way the Texas Chainsaw Massacre started? Those rednecks got chainsaws in their Easter baskets, I'm sure of it! That's the only plausible explanation.

Now, parent to parent, or parent to non-parent who buys for children, or what the hell ever you may or may not be, please just do me one favor, okay? Please don't buy the children in your life items that they can practice killing you with, especially if it's in a damn Easter Basket. That'd be just plain ol' bad parenting. And then I might have to hunt you down or something.

And This Is Realistic?

Huffy awoke at 3 am, as usual, for work this morning and my brain heard the alarm as well and decided to begin functioning, depriving me of sleep, which really sucks because I took today off from work so that I could have a much need Mental Health Day. Once I'm up, there's no going back to sleep, so I began to peruse the gossip pages (are there any other kind?) at people.com. I came across this story in which actress Sophia Bush talks about how she's Italian and food is supposedly such a big part of her life. She says:

"[Food is] such a part of my life and family time and enjoyment and a source of
real pleasure. It’s not something I’d ever give up. I’m very happy to be a
[size] 2-4 [rather] than a double 0."

She's kidding, right? I mean, how can food be that big a part of your life if you're only a size 2 or size 4? I'm afraid to even hug someone that small for fear that I might break them. I guess if someone's super duper petite, then being that small may be okay, but there's only about 10 people in the world who are naturally like that.

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the average U.S. woman is 5' 3" tall and weighs 152 pounds. More than 50% of the women in America wear clothes that are size 14 or higher, but the ideal body, as portrayed by the media, is totally unrealistic. I'm 5'8" and at my smallest adult weight, I weighed 162 lbs. That may sound like a lot, but folks, I wore a size 10 so, no, I wasn't big at all. If I were to weigh less than 150 lbs., I'd look horrible, but that's what so many people (women in particular) want, to be skinny. I've fought and lost the battle of the bulges for years, but am happy to report that I've lost 30 pounds since August, and I hope to continue to lose another 20, but I'm doing it in a healthy manner.

I'm not aiming to be a size 2, 4, or even a size 6. And if I'm ever a size 0, you can rest assured that it'll be because I'm dead and all the flesh has rotted off and there are only bones left.

Another Day in Paradise

What's irritating Betsy the most today, you ask? Why, thank you for your concern. Sit back, relax (believe me, I'm stressed enough for all of us), and let me climb aboard the soapbox.

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Tuesday night the following email was sent to me from an administrator at my school (names have been omitted to protect the not-so-innocent):

I'm reading email and apparently there is some unsafe behavior going on in
some of our classes on some days. Because we are a Love and Logic school
this does not mean it isn't "so sad when you hurt another child" because there
are definite natural consequences that go with being unsafe in school. The
natural consequence of unsafe behavior is no participation with other
students for a while and a plan of action. We have ----- and I to help
facilitate a plan of action session with any child and he is happy to make sure
kids communicate this to their home - via a phone call. We are still
progressive here at ---. Parents are still our partners.

I sent home a kindergartner the other day, early. The child and I called
dad and said, "Oh, this is a bummer. School ends early since your child is
making it so other children are not safe." Dad came to pick him up.

Chaos is not Love and Logic. Kids recognizing that the expectation is the same - safety and respect is love and logic. If they chose to act differently, it's a
bummer because there is always natural consequences to face. Let ----- or
I help you. --- and -------- can help too! We are here to work with kids and, of course, we enjoy playing with them too.

Today, during PE, a 2nd grader put his hands around the neck of a classmate, in a choking action. This happened about 10 minutes after he had another classmate in (what looked to me to be) a headlock. While returning to class after PE, he punched a classmate for no reason. Less than an hour later, in another unprovoked attack, he hit another classmate. After losing 5 minutes of recess because of his earlier behavior, he continued to throw rocks after being warned not to and began swearing on the busy, packed playground. He was sent to the office for a 5 minute time out (his 2nd in 3 hours) where he almost tore a poster from the wall and then played with the miniblinds on the window. There was no call to mom or dad and no communication to them of his behavior other than a note that he "had a rough day".

Are you kidding me???

The reason this kid is still at school is because he has Down syndrome. He's very high functioning, but because he has Down's it's "okay" that he does all this and more. At least that's how the school district sees it.

Now, here's the other side of the coin: I have a 23 year old son with Down Syndrome. He's labled 'profoundly retarded' (yes, I know i said the "r" word) and is on about the level of a 36 month old child. When Patrick misbehaves, he knows there are consequences. He knows that if his behavior warrants it, he may get popped on the hand, he may have a favorite toy taken away, or he may get a spanking. The point is, my kid knows what behavior is acceptable and what is not, and he's WAY lower functioning than this other kid. This is not to say that Patrick is an angel all the time, because he isn't. But he damn sure knows that if he acts out, he will face the 'natural consequences'.

I'm so sick and tired of parents of special needs kids who make exceptions for their child's behavior because little Johnny 'doesn't know any better'. Give me a break! With few exceptions, yes, Johnny DOES know better, or is at least capable of knowing better if you choose to teach him. One of the most important things, if not THE most important thing, that a parent must teach ANY child is what is socially acceptable behavior. It's no more okay for Patrick to throw a temper tantrum than it is for my non-special needs kids to throw one. What is going to happen when that 2nd grader punches someone and the other kids punches him back because he or she is sick of getting hit? In my experience, many (if not the majority of ) special needs kids don't have the ability to navigate the gray area that the rest of us has. They don't understand that something is okay in this situation, but not in that situation. Things for them usually need to be either black or white, not somewhere in between.

I feel that the school (and this child's parents - but that's a whole other story) are doing less than the best for this child. And gawd knows I'm a less than perfect parent, but when that child is a teenager or an adult and is still going around doing this type of behavior, who will be to blame then?