Oh, To Be A Man

I decided to take advantage of some of the fab-a-luss after Christmas sales, desperately needing to find a bra that will fit the twins, as well as the body to which they are attached. After several incredibly frustrating hours attempting to locate said brassiere, dealing with impolite salespeople, and traipsing around in 10 inches of snow, I gave up.

I've come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a well-fitting bra unless you've been surgically altered. That may mean you've gone bigger or smaller, but I'm telling you that of the what seemed like 8,000 bras that I tried on, not a single one fit the way I wanted it to, or even the way they used to. Apparently (Pop, you may want to stop reading here.), Twin A is either a small D or an extra-large C, but this varies depending on what brand I try on. Poor Twin B is a plain 'ol normal C and is just riding Twin A's coat tails, hoping it doesn't look too out of place next to it's other half. And don't even get me started about how the only decent looking bras stop at a size 38 band! Now don't get me wrong, I know that I don't need sexy little Victoria's Secret bras - I am married after all. But still, can't a woman who's not a size 2, 4, or 6 still have a pretty, comfortable booby holder?? Come on, folks! I can't imagine that I'm the only woman out there that feels this way.

So, when I win the lottery or find a venture capitalist who's willing to finance it, I'm going to make pretty, comfortable bras customized with different cup sizes. Outwardly, both cups would look like the biggest cup size you are (if you're a B and a C, you'd look like you're a C on both sides), but the inside of the smallest cup would have a gel insert so that your B fits well inside the C cup. Pretty cool, huh?

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall... (Updated)

Last night on CBS News, there was a segment about the daughters of political candidates and the rolls that they sometimes play within the campaign for President. Because Kenin and I are less interested in politics, we're more interested in ridiculous things like the number of movies Blockbuster has on its shelves or how many times Angelo will attack Napoleon before he decides to sit on him and squish every last ounce of life from Angelo's 3-legged body. Needless to say, before the segment was through, comments began to fly on which candidate's daughter was the prettiest.

Personally, I think Chelsea Clinton should get a few points at least, based on the fact that she was so damn ugly when Bill was in office, and now she looks a billion times better, but Kenin disagrees. He thinks that Meghan McCain is the winner. Leave a comment to let me know what YOU think!

Ashley Biden, daughter of Joe Biden

Napoleon, because he's very fat and very cute

Chelsea Clinton, daughter of Hillary Clinton

Cate Edwards, daughter of John Edwards

Caroline Giuliani, daughter of Rudy Giuliani

Angelo, because he's a tripod and doesn't know it

Sarah Huckabee, daughter of Mike Huckabee

Meghan McCain, daughter of John McCain

Updated 1/20/08:

Okay, not even the 3 homeless guys voted in my poll, so as The Evil Queen, I hearby announce that the winners in the poll are Napoleon and Angelo, each tied with 44 gazillion votes. And all the rest of you can eat a poisoned apple. Have a nice day. ;)

~~~~~UPDATE~~~~~

Please go here for an important update on this story.

The Kingdom

Last night, as Kenin lay snoring in our bed upstairs, I watched The Kingdom, starring Jamie Foxx and Jennifer Garner. Now, I'm not a huge war-type movie fan. Actually, I not a fan at all of any war movies, pretty much because I think war sucks. But this movie had Jamie Foxx and Jennifer Garner in it, so what the hell, right? (Don't you think Jennifer Garner could totally kick ass in real life? She was a spy in Alias, she was Electra. This girl could beat someone up in a serious way. Ya gotta admire that.)

This movie rocks. In a big, big, way. First of all, it gripped me within the first 10 minutes and pretty much kept me that way until the end. Ladies and gentlemen, I am not easily gripped, let me tell you. A few times I even held my breath without realizing it and since I'm pretty accustomed to breathing, that was a rather unusual feat.

Now, all this chatter aside, the end of the movie really makes you think. The last line is the kicker. I won't tell you what that particular line is, 'cause I'm mean/nice like that.

But please, do yourself a favor, treat yourself to this DVD. You won't regret it. I promise you'll give it a big thumbs up!

Merry Christmas, I'm Mowing the Snow

First of all, Merry Christmas to everyone out there in Bloggerville (I say 'ville' because the only people that read this blog are myself and 2 or 3 really bored homeless people who hang out at a public library. Because if there were more than just us reading, I'd maybe have an occasional comment or two and then I could upgrade Bloggerville to Blogtown, or even Blog City.). Anyway...

On this glorious day, I awoke to snow, truly wonderful snow. I like snow. A lot. And today I got to play with a new toy I've had for almost a year! Last year, after we had snow every week for 8 weeks in a row (and I'm not talking about an inch or two at a time, either), my father broke down and bought a new snow blower because, well, just because. So I got the hand-me-down snow blower. Please don't get the impression that I'm complaining. I'm not. I mean, who in the hell is going to complain about an easier way to clear the driveway and sidewalks of cold, wet, white stuff? Not me, I assure you.

Just a few things you should consider though, before using a snowblower, if you've not yet had the opportunity or the need:

1) Make sure you have gas in it before the 1-4 inches predicted by the dumbass weatherman becomes the 6-8 inches you really get. It sucks to have to find an open gas station on Christmas day.

2) Don't use the snowblower after you've already shoveled because I don't care how cold it is, that stuff is wetter than if you hadn't shoveled at all. Blow first, then shovel.

3) Watch the way the blower thing is pointed. It's cold when it blasts you in the face, and this is no fun at all, except to the person who sees it happen to you.

Much love to all! Merry Christmas!

The Christmas Eve Tradition

Hunter: Mom, it's the day before Christmas!

Me: Yeah, that makes it Christmas Eve.

Hunter: So, uh, our tradition... we get to open a present early, right?

Me: Yeah, tonight. At Mamu and PaPa's house.

Hunter (totally whining): Why not now?

Me: Because Dad's not home.

Hunter: Why did he go to work anyway? He should be at home.

Me: Well, Hunter, he didn't want to go, but he didn't really have a choice.

Hunter: He should've told Bossman that it's Christmas and he needs to spend time at home with his family so his son can open up a Christmas present early!

The Dragon

Way back in the fall of 2004, when I had more time and inspiration, I created 'The Dragon'. That year for Christmas I had it enlarged and made into a poster for Hunter, which hangs on his wall to this day.

Look at that head!

Doesn't Katherine Heigl's head look HUGE??

Because I'm So Intelligent

During the Delaware-Appalachian State football game...

Me: Delaware's getting spanked.

Kenin: I know.

About 90 seconds later, Appalachian State scores another touchdown, making the score 21-0 with 10 minutes to go in the 2nd quarter.

Kenin: Baby, Appalachian State is spanking Delaware.

Me: Didn't I just say that?

Kenin: Yeah. I'm just reiterating what you said because you're so intelligent.

Well, duh.

Kenin's Surgery Update

Just a quickie to let everyone who cares - yep, all 3 of you - that it doesn't appear that Kenin's going to have to have another hip surgery, at least for now. He's walking with crutches for another few weeks, but if everything continues as it is now, he's got 10-15 years before he'll have to go back under the knife. Yee Haw!! :)

You Want Some Of This?

The last image created. I wonder if this means anime turned me off from art? (Probably not.)

Merry Christmas to Me

This afternoon was Kenin's company Christmas party and although I was half hoping that the snow we got overnight would be bad enough that we were unable to attend, it didn't work out that way.

If you've read my blog, you know that I'm not his bosses' biggest fan, so for me, the bright spot in having to attend was that I might be able to say some of the things that I've had on my mind. That didn't quite work out the way I wanted either, because Kenin let me know before we left home that I was not allowed to tell Mr. Bossman that he was just damn lucky that Kenin was still working there after he decided to rescind his contribution (aka paycheck) to my bank account while Kenin was recovering after his recent surgery. After all, even though he told Kenin that he'd be paid while he was out of work, recovering from HIP SURGERY, he decided that would just not be something he was willing to do. It apparently wasn't enough that he screwed Kenin out of a commission check without telling him, two days before we were to go to Jena's wedding. But, me being me, all hope was not lost. I've gotten pretty good over the years at telling people to eat shit without them realizing it. It may not make them feel bad, but it sure makes me feel better. And that is all that counts, no?

So, at the party, Bossman #2 comes over to talk to us and somehow the conversation works its way around to work. Shocking, huh? Well, he mentions that they are considering planning a trip to the Left Coast to visit some vendors and I put my 2 cents in and mention that it's a good thing that Kenin isn't a big fan of California, since he won't be going. Let's face it, no commission also means no more sales calls. Good for me, bad for them. According to Kenin, Bossman #2 caught the dig. :) Then, later, Bossman #1 says to me how hard Kenin is working and I told him that I thought he was working way too hard, especially since he hadn't been released by his doctor to work more than 4 hours a day. Oops! LOL Kenin tried to recover from that one, but I'm glad Bossman #1 knows that he's working twice what his doctor wants him too, and I hope the weinie feels guilty as hell, too, 'cause I'm bitchy like that.

All in all, I'd have to say it was a productive day.

Inspiration

This image was inspired by the 'Live Like You Were Dying' video by Tim McGraw.