Oh, To Be A Man

I decided to take advantage of some of the fab-a-luss after Christmas sales, desperately needing to find a bra that will fit the twins, as well as the body to which they are attached. After several incredibly frustrating hours attempting to locate said brassiere, dealing with impolite salespeople, and traipsing around in 10 inches of snow, I gave up.

I've come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a well-fitting bra unless you've been surgically altered. That may mean you've gone bigger or smaller, but I'm telling you that of the what seemed like 8,000 bras that I tried on, not a single one fit the way I wanted it to, or even the way they used to. Apparently (Pop, you may want to stop reading here.), Twin A is either a small D or an extra-large C, but this varies depending on what brand I try on. Poor Twin B is a plain 'ol normal C and is just riding Twin A's coat tails, hoping it doesn't look too out of place next to it's other half. And don't even get me started about how the only decent looking bras stop at a size 38 band! Now don't get me wrong, I know that I don't need sexy little Victoria's Secret bras - I am married after all. But still, can't a woman who's not a size 2, 4, or 6 still have a pretty, comfortable booby holder?? Come on, folks! I can't imagine that I'm the only woman out there that feels this way.

So, when I win the lottery or find a venture capitalist who's willing to finance it, I'm going to make pretty, comfortable bras customized with different cup sizes. Outwardly, both cups would look like the biggest cup size you are (if you're a B and a C, you'd look like you're a C on both sides), but the inside of the smallest cup would have a gel insert so that your B fits well inside the C cup. Pretty cool, huh?