do I suck or what?

Yes, yes, yes, I know it's been forever since I've updated, and I know you 3 homeless guys who hang at the library are pretty mad, but, hey, I'm lazy. You ought to know that by now; it's not like it's a big secret or anything.

Ah, but look what I've been up to...

Me and Patrick

Kenin and Waverly

Hunter (aka Uncle Peanut) and Paul

Kenin, Hunter and Paul

Waverly and Paul

Patrick, Paul and Kenin

Paul and Jena

Jena and Paul

Paul (Isn't he cute? He gets it from me. LOL)

Jena, Paul and Hunter

Sean

what to do? what to do?

I am completely and utterly alone for the next 20 hours. Okay, not completely alone because I'm still stuck with the cat and the dog, but you know what I mean. Kenin and Hunter are still in Texas, and this morning, I took Ashlyn to the airport so she could visit her dad in Georgia. Just so you understand, I'm so into this ALONE TIME thing that I didn't even answer the door when the Trugreen lawn guy showed up. And guilt? There was none.

I'm really at a loss for what I want to do though, simply because I always seem to have so much to do. I thought about heading to the mountains to take some pictures, but it's 95 degrees out, so that idea got shelved. I have some crafty stuff I could do, but I think I'll do that next week while Kenin's at work and it's just me at home. I think there are a couple of pay-per-view movies out that I want to watch so I'll probably do that - if I can convince Bella to share the bed with me.

water, water, and more water

I went rafting with my brothers, Jim and Tom, and my rugrat, Hunter, on Wednesday. Guess who that is waving to everyone?

more medication, please

Last week my doctor generously gave me a 'script for Xanax (aka Relaxant of the Gods) so that I wouldn't be quite as uptight as normal while I spend the week with family here in beautiful Breckenridge. I know Xanax works, and I know from experience that it works well for me. I also know that one must actually REMEMBER TO TAKE IT in order for it to perform its' intended duty.

Since I've been forgetting to take my meds, I've been medicating with liquid refreshment instead, and so far, it's been going okay. I've not physically assaulted anyone, though I admit to being a wee bit verbally abusive when people piss me off. I've only broken down in tears once and it was short lived because I swear I'm honestly and truly trying to relax.

Many, many kudos to my spouse, who reminds me every time he looks in my eyes just how lucky I am to have him. And to Boogie, too, who's cool as grits.

The Vacation Begins

We made it to Breck yesterday and today the rest of the family will be showing up. We took 2 cars - we had an ass of stuff to bring - and it went okay except that on the way here Kenin's car overheated and I got lost. Oh yeah, and I forgot my underwear!

On the plus side, I could totally live here. Actually, I think that when I win the lottery, I'll just move up here. After all, it couldn't be worse than living in the slums.

A Wee Bit of Trepidation

Next week ought to be interesting as we're going to be attending the every-6-years-or-so family reunion up in Breckenridge. We're renting 3 condos for a week, although most of the family will be arriving Sunday and leaving Thursday. My branch of the family tree will be heading up on Saturday, so we'll be there the longest, which is good, because the last semblance of vacation we had was 6 years ago, when we did a reunion in Galveston.

I'm truly my father's daughter (control freak), so I expect to be in tears by Tuesday. I've always felt like an outsider in comparison to my brothers; I got married, had a baby and was divorced by the time I was 23 and almost without exception, they were all in their 30's or older before they got married. I'm going to be a grandmother, and they're still working on having kids. I didn't do college right after high school; I'm doing it now. I have tattoos and at the last reunion I was told that my body is a temple and I shouldn't have them. I replied that my temple had pretty pictures on it. Perhaps you can see how there might be some fundamental differences.

I guess I'm just nervous. Scared is probably a better decription though. Whether I want to admit it or not, I guess I still carry along a lot of baggage from my childhood, and it's been really easy to ignore it over the years because my family doesn't get together very often, so I don't have to think about what's stored in my Samsonite. But 5 days? I don't know that I can hold it in that long, when we're going to be together the whole time.

I know that none of us are the same people that existed so many years ago, we've all changed, blah, blah, blah, but I was a screwed up kid, and the only thing that's helped me be an okay adult is having that distance between us. I don't want that distance, but at the same time, I don't know what it would be like to be close. There are things that should be said, but the last thing I want is for this thing to become a 5 day group therapy session. Oh well, that's enough sharing for one day...

And This Is Why I Stay Away Fom NASCAR Races

Thursday morning Ashlyn left to visit her dad in Georgia for 10 days. For me, that means 10 glorious, teenager-free days. For Ash and her dad, that means 5 of those 10 days will be spent sleeping with God knows how many other friends and relatives in an RV parked in the infield of the Atlanta Motor Speedway. I couldn't do it because I'm such a homebody that I prefer to be away from home for no longer than, say, oh, 12 hours or so. But they love it for some odd reason. And I mean they really love it. They take off work, fly Ashy down special just for the occasions (October and March, in case you're wondering how often the track gets a major workout), and make a big shindig out of it.

Anyway, Ash called me this morning, totally unapologetic about the fact that it was only 8 am, so that she could tell me it was snowing in Atlanta. Snow. In. Atlanta. During. A. NASCAR. Weekend. Hmph! Of all the nerve! I have to admit to a certain amount of satisfaction in the fact that my beautiful child refused to pack a coat because, "Mom, it's going to be 75 degrees down there!" Apparently there is such a thing as poetic justice after all.

While she was standing outside the RV and we were talking about the weather, she remarked to someone standing near her that "Well, at least Bill has a shirt on now." That sounded just a wee bit odd so I asked her what she was talking about. She said that the only things "Bill" ever wore while they were at the races were boxer shorts and cowboy boots. I could feel my head begin to explode just a little bit as I wondered if this was the same guy who, last October, was so drunk that he fell off the roof of the RV.

UPDATE: According to Ashlyn, no, Bill is not the same person who got drunk and fell off the RV. My thought though, is that now I know for sure that there are two idiots out there instead of just the one. Scary, no?

Thank Gawd It's Over

September 19-23 had to be some of the most stressful days of my entire life. We spent those days in Texas (AKA Hell), where our daughter, Jena, got married.

Just a few thoughts regarding that experience:

1. I still hate Texas. It's hot, it's humid, the refineries stink up the air so badly that you wish you'd been born without the ability to smell and I (once again) almost got carried off by the state bird, the mosquito. I loved seeing Kenin's family, but I really wish they'd move.

2. To the woman (my Momma taught me at the age of 6 that there is a real difference between a lady and a woman) who attempted to cut in front of me at the Southwest Airlines gate in Denver: What the hell were you thinking? Did you think that although I arrived at the gate over an hour before you did that I'd willingly let you cut in front of me so that you could get a seat closer to the front of the plane? I got there early for a reason, and yes, I purposely blocked you when you attempted to get in front of me because I'm bitchy like that. Next time you want a good seat, get your ass up at 3 am and quit trying to cut in line like a 5 year old. <ding> You are now free to move about the country.

3. I have no problem with prayer. I totally expected it. Not only was it a wedding, but one performed by a Baptist minister. So, no big deal, I knew it was coming. But one thing I noticed was that every third word was "God". It went something like this: God, thank you, God, for this wonderful day. God, this young couple is here to celebrate you, God. We ask, God, that you bless their marriage. God, please blah, blah, blah, you get the idea. I was just wondering why he kept saying "God" so much. Did he think that someone was going to lose his or her religion and let loose with a "Praise you, Satan!" or something? Strange stuff, but whatever. Maybe it's just Baptists. I don't remember if they're all like that or not because I've done my best to block out the Sundays I had to spend at the Rockmart Baptist Church while I was in The Nuthouse. There weren't any Satanists there, anyway. At least that I know of.

4. It's really a small world out there. On the way back to Denver from Hell, the man and the woman in the seats in front of me (who were unknown to each other prior to the plan ride - I know because I listened in) lived in the same towns as me - in South Carolina. Currently, he and I live in Denver, she lives in Aspen. He and she lived in Charleston, SC, as children. I lived there for a while, and Hunter was born in Charleston. He (the man, not Hunter) grew up in Myrtle Beach, SC, and Kenin and I lived there when we were first married. He and she (and her hubby) are considering moving to Texas. This is where the coolness ends because, as you are well aware, I hate Texas.

So, I'm now a mother-in-law. But that's a whole 'nother topic...

Ah... Thanksgiving

I felt a bit lazy today, so while Kenin was at work, Ashlyn and I watched CSI and A Love Song for Bobby Long (great movie). Last night I got home from my parents house and boy, was I glad. It wasn't that I'd had a bad time or anything, just that I missed my own home. And my husband. And my cats. And my own bed.

I got the kids up early Wednesday morning and we headed west toward the Rockies. After a 10 1/2 hour drive, we made it to Denver. The kids behaved fairly well, though Hunter was especially anxious to see his friends again. We got to see my parents, my favorite aunt, Sally, my brother, Bob, and finally got to meet Guli, my newest sister-in-law, who is FABULOUS!! My dad complained about the kids, we all got caught up on what's going on in everyone's life, and other than sleeping on the sofa bed, everything was good. Bob, Guli, and I took the kids to see the latest Harry Potter movie Thanksgiving night, and though it was okay, had I not read the book, I'd not have known what was going on, so if you haven't read it, don't waste your money. We'd planned on staying until Sunday, but bad weather was approaching so we came home early.

I guess I ought to say "I'm sorry" to Al of Al's Lock and Safe in North Platte, NE. I had a blonde moment and locked my keys in the car at Burger King. Or, at least I thought I did. Anyway, I called Al and he was on his way out to save the day when I discovered that the rear door on the Durango wasn't locked after all. I'm not really sure how that happened since the other doors were locked tight as a candy jar at a Weight Watchers meeting, but that's the way it was. Wanting to keep that extra $40 he was going to charge me to open my unlocked car (not to mention the embarrassment factor), I left before he got there. So, uh, sorry, Al. (I'm going to mail him $20 just for his trouble.)

So much crap to do...

So much crap to do, and so little time to get it done in. I guess I could put what little time I have to better use by not blogging right now, but what the hell? Tomorrow, at some point between the hours of 4 and 5 am, I will load up the car and kids and head to Denver for Turkey Day. I must be insane to take all the kids and leave Kenin behind (my poor baby has to work), but I miss my family. I'm going to see my brother (younger, but not little by any means) for the first time in 3 years and I get to meet his new wife, Guli, for the first time. Plus, my aunt and parents will be there, too. Anyway, lots to do, lots to do. I have pick up Kenin from work and take him to the doctor, do some last minute laundry (hell, I only did 5 loads yesterday), clean out my car so we can all fit in there with Hunter's bike that he wants to take, pack, and I have a lunch date with my friend, Laura. Patrick's already thrown a screaming fit and it's only 8 o'clock. Hunter's being obstinate and doesn't want to get ready for school. So, yeah, its' gonna be one of those days...