Favorite Quotes

I was cleaning up an old website I'd made and came across these quotes. I hope you like them as much as I do!

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

~Albert Einstein

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.

~Roseanne

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

~Billy Crystal

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.

~Rod Stewart

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

~Robin Williams

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

~Robin Williams

Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk.

~Stephen King

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

~Garrison Keilor

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

~Mae West

Sex on TV isn’t bad for you unless you fall off.

~ Unknown

Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

~Unknown

If you can’t beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.

~Unknown

Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have film.

~Unknown

The fact that no one understands you doesn't make you an artist.

~Unknown

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

~Unknown

Spotted on the back of a T-Shirt worn by an LAPD Bomb Squad member: If you see me running, try to keep up.